Bob Marley was buried in a crypt near his birthplace with his Gibson Les Paul, a soccer ball, a fat Cannabis bud, a bong, a ring that he wore every day that was given to him by the Prince Asfa Wossen of Ethiopia and a Bible.
Ignoring the Bible part, isn’t that the coolest shit ever? Being buried with pot and bong…
When I die I want a badass Viking funeral. I think it’s illegal now in most countries but still…
Burial scares me and grosses me out. I don’t want to be food for maggots once I die. The Hindu cremation system comes with a shitload of disgustingly archaic and pointless rituals. Balls to that.
Now the Vikings, they did some cool shit. They gathered on the beach in the evening and lit a huge bonfire. They then laid the dead chap on a longboat and set it adrift. Viking men would then poke arrows in the bonfire and fire them on the ship thereby setting it ablaze. And then they’d watch as the burning ship faded into the horizon. It is said that if the colour of the flame matched the fiery red of the sunset then the dead man would go to Valhalla.
And in my longboat I want a copy of Catcher in the Rye, my saxophone (assuming I live long enough to learn to play one), my G.I.Joes (yeah yeah, you can make fun of me now…), a lochaber axe and a spagenhelm.That’s it I guess.
19 responses so far ↓
ish // February 18, 2008 at 5:29 pm |
Pretty nifty funeral that’d be I can say. I guess I’ll be burnt the usual Sikh way. I feel it’s inhuman to burn a dead body. But yeah, being eaten by bugs isn’t any better either.
I wish they could have strippers on my funeral, who’d do a pole dance on top of my grave..and that too on a Green Day or a Coldplay song. That’d be fun..I wish I could be alive to witness my own funeral.
Nikita // February 19, 2008 at 3:47 pm |
a lochaber axe and a spagenhelm.. plan on goin back in time and to war, or is it just a middle earth thing?
catcher in the rye.. *crowd cheers*, saxaphone.. *cheering grows*, G.I. Joes *silence out of respect for the dead*
that sounds like a funeral i’d like to witness. send the invitations and kill urself on the pretext of board stress.. hehe. (or is it a little to close to make jokes??)
ish // February 20, 2008 at 3:49 am |
Omg, I totally agree with Nik. If you die like a couple of days before the beginning of the boards or maybe even a couple of days before the results are coming out, you can have us giving you the most sincere “depressed” expression that can be.
Bharat Iyer // February 20, 2008 at 12:30 pm |
Ish, why the hell do you want strippers on your funeral? Hire them for your 21st birthday or something.
And Nikita, I don’t like JRRT’s work so it’s not a middle earth thing. More like an unhealthy obsession with pre-gunpowder age military history and weaponry.
Actually I would also want a cavalry saber and a mail hauberk in my boat.
And yes, the exams are a tad too close for jokes. Besides, I’m in 11th. No Boards.
Vasudha // February 20, 2008 at 12:58 pm |
*is wondering what strippers could do with Till Kingdom Come*
*stops wondering abruptly*
You’ll be pretty much set for Valhalla then. A burning saxophone
I’m thinking Cryogenics.
Ish // February 20, 2008 at 1:40 pm |
I can have strippers for my 21st birthday as well as my funeral. There’s no limit to the number of times you can hire strippers in your life is there?
I’ll make them dance to Green Day songs on my 21st birthday and Coldplay songs on my funeral. And then they’ll have boards outside every strip club and stripper hiring agencies which will say, “People with names like Ish are not allowed in here. Plus, Green Day and Coldplay fans strictly prohibited”.
Vasudha // February 20, 2008 at 1:49 pm |
Lol, stripping to Green Day would involve a lot of head banging as well. Interesting.
ish // February 20, 2008 at 7:34 pm |
Yep, a couple of strippers would probably die when they start playing St. Jimmy. I guess I’ll need to call ambulances as well.
Bharat Iyer // February 20, 2008 at 10:51 pm |
Cryogenics? Gives me the chills, no pun intended.
I don’t want to be brought back to life. I know it’s a silly thing to say but it seems unnatural. Dead people are supposed to remain that way. And that’s that.
Oh and Ish if you’re gonna hire strippers and go corny, go corny all the way and make em dance to Bollywood item numbers
cjwriter // February 21, 2008 at 12:07 am |
A Viking funeral sounds like a good way to go out. It’d certainly give people something to remember!
The thing I’ve never liked about funerals is that they’re more about the people attending than the deceased, so having some kind of a real send-off would be a good way to commemorate someone’s life.
I’d want to do away with the traditional funeral as well. I’d be cremated and if someone had to speak, I’d rather it was just one person who’d speak honestly and harshly, not making me out to be someone I wasn’t… as long as there’s no James Blunt song playing, I think I’d be able to rest in peace. If Goodbye My Lover plays I’ll come back and haunt them for all eternity.
ish // February 21, 2008 at 12:40 am |
No man, they’ll be able to dance to Bollywood numbers easily. Those are made for dancing, even the sad ones for that matter. And if they get really sad, someone makes a remix to make them dance-able. I wanna give the strippers a challenge..a song that’d be difficult to dance to lol.
Bharat Iyer // February 21, 2008 at 8:53 am |
Well, do you want to see strippers head banging and thrashing and flailing around wildly? Or do you want ‘em doing something sensuous and arousing? Your choice really…
Cremation always seemed better than burial to me. The Zoarastrians dump their dead on top of a tower to become food for carrion birds. The philosophy behind it is interesting but it seems almost inhumane to do that.
James Blunt was a real disappointment. I read some good reviews and bought the first album. It has no replay value and most of the songs sound the same. I like Three Wise Men and No Bravery a bit. The rest were barely average.
ish // February 21, 2008 at 2:44 pm |
I’d rather do the strippers head banging and thrashing and flailing around wildly. They do the sensuous and arousing things all the time, this would be something different and hence would make my funeral rememberable. The only other thing that can be rememberable would be to have Britney Spears performing on top of my coffin.
Vasudha // February 22, 2008 at 12:46 pm |
Assuming she outlives you. That might be a dim possibility.
ish // February 23, 2008 at 12:32 am |
Not that dim. I might just die because of work and studies in college. And she’s got so many years in her still. How many kids has she had yet? I’m sure she ain’t dying before she has at least 10.
Amit // February 26, 2008 at 2:10 pm |
I have always fancied a funeral like the great kings of Egypt. To be mummified with all my wealth around me in a tomb deep inside the earth with lots of chemicals and strips of clothes around me. Ah!!! That will be something. And I would surely like to have my novels, game CDs, movie DVDs, photographs and my laptop to be buried with me.
Can't think of a creative name... // February 27, 2008 at 2:28 pm |
Hey do you believe in after-life or somthing? Why do you want all that stuff with you? Hey I really want a lappy so please courier it to me instead of burying it.
Chris // November 10, 2008 at 9:48 am |
nice thought, but i’d rather be burned with a few amon amarth CDs, an electric guitar, stuff like that… and stuff the whole “Fire Arrows to Burn My Ship”… I’d Rather go with pouring molten lead onto the face of the ship, lighting it on… but it would be a waste of a well built longboat.
Nice thought of the strippers too Ish… maybe i could hire some strippers to dance on top of me as i burn, that’d be pretty interesting to watch
My awesome funeral « In My Write : LongBoat // October 27, 2009 at 2:54 am |
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